It was in the mid-1990s that I first fasted - once a week, every week.
Well ... to be honest, it was kind of forced on me.
In Kargil, on the Indo-Pak Line of Control, my unit, 1/9 GORKHA RIFLES, was taking over the defended area from 26 MADRAS, which was de-inducting from the sector. As a young Captain - a Company Commander, no less - we were taking over charge of the company complex. Right after the area familiarisation tour and briefings on operations, intelligence, command/control & communicatons and logistics, the MADRAS Company Commander added a snippet about a curious tradition prevalent in the sector. Company Commanders observed a vrat (fast) on Tuesdays for "the well-being of their troops".
I hoped that this last part of the classified, "for-your-eyes-and-ears-only" series of briefings wouldn't filter down to the troops. Not the faintest intention did I have of fasting. I had reckoned without the pervasiveness of langar gup. Langar gup is the grapevine that runs through the rank and file in every Indian Army unit. My Gorkhas, who were interacting with the Madrasis at every level taking over different responsibilities learnt about the vrat "tradition" sooner than later. Sure enough, a mild hint of a suggestion that I might "consider" continuing the tradition came from none less than the Company Senior JCO - in a tone that suggested that failure to comply would constitute a grave tactical error.
Now, soldiers have always been a superstitious lot, especially so in combat zones. We were "eyeball to eyeball" with the enemy in an operational area where troops were armed to the teeth and occasionally a little too eager to use those arms. Tensions could escalate at any time because of geopolitical factors as well as local tactical factors. It was an area which had changed hands several times in the wars of 1947 - 48, 1965 and 1971. Each side had laid minefields, and neither had access to the other's minefield layout charts. A soldier on patrol could quite literally stumble upon a buried explosive device, with consequences that hardly bore thinking about. Fat chance I had of turning down the senior JCO's suggestion that I observe the vrat. A single casualty could send unit morale plummeting. I could almost hear the whispers of "Company Commander Saheb le vrat basnu bhayena ra aba yesto bhayo" (The Company Commander did not fast, and look what has happened) racing around the langar gup. A Court of Inquiry would certainly not list divine displeasure amongst the reasons for the casualty, but I suspected the court of regimental opinion would arrive at a rather less ambiguous verdict. Observing the vrat was thus a Hobson's choice for me.
As it turned out, the vrat was not quite the ordeal I had expected it to be. High-altitude conditions at Kargil- temperatures well below zero and considerably reduced oxygen levels - meant that the supply depot kept us adequately stocked with special rations which kept up both the energy and the morale. These included plenty of tins of condensed milk and lots of dry fruits. The Company Quartermaster Havildar (CQMH), probably feeling sorry for the piety enforced on me, would ensure that vrat day commenced with a bowl of rich, condensed milk-soaked dry-fruit pudding. This would be followed up by rabri with peanut and jaggery chikki (more special rations) around lunchtime. The usual dinner was sent up to my bunker in the evening because poor company commander saheb had been 'fasting' the whole day had he not? So eventually I ended up better fed on vrat day than on others.
Years later, by when I had exchanged the uncertainties of the Kargil combat zone for the supposedly predictable hazards of married life, I found that the Institution of the Vrat had followed me home. My newlywed, Delhi-bred wife now proposed to fast for my long life. I had come face to face with the redoubtable Karwa Chauth vrat - something alien to my own Keralite sensibilities. My remonstrations about, what appeared to me to be a tradition rooted in patriarchy and gender asymmetry were unceremoniously brushed aside. My lines of attack - scientific, feminist and logical - were all repulsed with a single, devastating retort: "It's a tradition my mother followed, and I want to do it." The redoubtable M-I-L line, when invoked, presented a far more volatile operational situation than the Line of Control.
Now, there may exist brave, adventurous husbands who have won arguments against their wives. I found that I was definitely not one of those tigers among men.
The opponent was too formidable, the terrain too unfavourable, and the prospects of victory too remote. Like a good military leader, I decided that discretion was the better part of valour. The operational strategy changed to "If you cannot fight her, join her."
And that, my friends, is how I came to observe the Karwa Chauth vrat with my wife, year after year, while continuing to regard the tradition as rooted in patriarchy. I had changed sides, if not my views, and discovered the joys of solidarity.